Ellen Hendriksen — How to Be Enough: Self-Criticism and Perfectionism Unpacked

Dr. Ellen Hendriksen is a clinical psychologist who will help you calm your anxiety and be your authentic self. She serves on the faculty at Boston University's Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders (CARD) and is the author of How to Be Enough: Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists as well as How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety.

In this episode of Mindful Money, I talk with Ellen about the deep connections between perfectionism, money anxiety, and our sense of self-worth. We unpack how cultural and familial messages lead us to measure value by performance, especially financial. Ellen shares powerful tools for shifting from rigid rules to freely chosen values, embracing imperfection, and practicing self-compassion without lowering our standards. We also dig into perfectionistic self-presentation, psychological safety, and the tension between striving and accepting ourselves as we are. This conversation is full of insight—and surprisingly liberating.

In this episode:

• (00:00) - Intro

• (01:27) - Meet Ellen Hendriksen

• (02:12) - Ellen's background and upbringing

• (03:35) - Lessons on money from childhood 

• (05:37) - Ellen's career journey to clinical psychology

• (07:55) - Why money anxiety isn't really about money

• (13:32) - The cost of comparison: how social media warps value

• (16:00) - The Venn diagram of doing and being

• (16:44) - Shifting from rules to values

• (26:10) - How perfectionism and self-presentation isolate us

• (30:07) - Chasing growth, losing connection

• (33:28) - Managing perfectionism and self-criticism

• (37:21) - Can mindfulness beat perfectionism?

• (40:29) - A first step in unwinding perfectionism

Get full show notes and links at https://mindful.money. 

Watch the episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MindfulMoney.