Dr. Ellen Hendriksen is a clinical psychologist who will help you calm your anxiety and be your authentic self. She serves on the faculty at Boston University's Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders (CARD) and is the author of How to Be Enough: Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists as well as How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety.

In this episode of Mindful Money, I talk with Ellen about the deep connections between perfectionism, money anxiety, and our sense of self-worth. We unpack how cultural and familial messages lead us to measure value by performance, especially financial. Ellen shares powerful tools for shifting from rigid rules to freely chosen values, embracing imperfection, and practicing self-compassion without lowering our standards. We also dig into perfectionistic self-presentation, psychological safety, and the tension between striving and accepting ourselves as we are. This conversation is full of insight—and surprisingly liberating.

In this episode:
(00:00) - Intro
(01:27) - Meet Ellen Hendriksen
(02:12) - Ellen's background and upbringing
(03:35) - Lessons on money from childhood
(05:37) - Ellen's career journey to clinical psychology
(07:55) - Why money anxiety isn't really about money
(13:32) - The cost of comparison: how social media warps value
(16:00) - The Venn diagram of doing and being
(16:44) - Shifting from rules to values
(26:10) - How perfectionism and self-presentation isolate us
(30:07) - Chasing growth, losing connection
(33:28) - Managing perfectionism and self-criticism
(37:21) - Can mindfulness beat perfectionism?
(40:29) - A first step in unwinding perfectionism

Get full show notes and links at https://mindful.money.

ABOUT MINDFUL MONEY:
Do you struggle with money? You’re not alone.

Money is a means, not an end. It’s a necessity of life for sure, but more money does not always guarantee a “good life”. Money enables many aspects of modern life, but as a dominant consideration, it becomes destructive.

The paradox is that more time and energy spent on personal finance does NOT create better outcomes. Unlike many other parts of life, we can’t create better outcomes by being smarter, spending more time, or putting in more effort.

Join Mindful Money author and experienced 40-year investor Jonathan DeYoe as he shares stories from artists, authors, entrepreneurs, and other advisors about how they mindfully minimize their need to think about money and get more out of life.

If you aren’t happy with your finances, feel like money takes more time than it should, or want to place your financial decisions into the broader context of your life, this show is for you.

Each episode will draw the line between the “enough” activities that the academics tell us are additive to family outcomes, and those “little bit more” efforts that take time and sap energy but do NOT improve outcomes.

CONNECT WITH ELLEN:
Website: https://www.ellenhendriksen.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ellen-hendriksen-91067263/
Ellen’s newsletter - How to Be Good to Yourself When You’re Hard on Yourself: https://ellenhendriksen.substack.com/

MINDFUL MONEY RESOURCES:
Website: https://mindful.money
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🎙️Podcast Production by Turncast: https://turncast.com.