Sonya Lutter is the Director of Financial Health and Wellness at Texas Tech Univeristy School of Financial Planning.  She leads curriculum and continuing education in the areas of financial psychology, financial therapy, and financial behavior. Sonya is also the owner of ENLITE.world, a research and training consultancy firm for financial planners and therapists.

In this episode of Mindful Money, I talk with Sonya about how our earliest experiences with money shape our relationships. We unpack money scripts, financial behaviors, and why communication—especially early on—is essential to long-term satisfaction. Sonya shares research-backed insights on joint accounts, premarital money conversations, and why some couples never talk about finances at all. We also dive into her book Love & Money: which offers practical exercises to help couples navigate finances with empathy, clarity, and connection. This conversation is a must-listen for anyone who wants to strengthen their relationship through financial wellness.

In this episode:
(00:00) - Intro
(01:14) - Meet Sonya Lutter
(03:15) - Sonya’s upbringing and early experiences with money
(09:03) - Sonya’s early career in financial planning
(10:52) - Statistics for money conflicts in relationships
(12:52) - Shared finances and relationship satisfaction
(17:14) - Financial therapy and Sonya’s book
(22:46) - Understanding money scripts
(25:11) - Advice for financial advisors
(33:20) - Improving couples’ financial conversations
(37:34) - Pitfalls of financial disengagement
(39:26) - Personal reflections and final thoughts

Get full show notes and links at https://mindful.money.

ABOUT MINDFUL MONEY:
Do you struggle with money? You’re not alone.

Money is a means, not an end. It’s a necessity of life for sure, but more money does not always guarantee a “good life”. Money enables many aspects of modern life, but as a dominant consideration, it becomes destructive.

The paradox is that more time and energy spent on personal finance does NOT create better outcomes. Unlike many other parts of life, we can’t create better outcomes by being smarter, spending more time, or putting in more effort.

Join Mindful Money author and experienced 40-year investor Jonathan DeYoe as he shares stories from artists, authors, entrepreneurs, and other advisors about how they mindfully minimize their need to think about money and get more out of life.

If you aren’t happy with your finances, feel like money takes more time than it should, or want to place your financial decisions into the broader context of your life, this show is for you.

Each episode will draw the line between the “enough” activities that the academics tell us are additive to family outcomes, and those “little bit more” efforts that take time and sap energy but do NOT improve outcomes.

CONNECT WITH SONYA:
Website: https://www.sonyalutter.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sonyalutter/

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